do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
