No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just invented taco cereal.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
