This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
