Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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