I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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