Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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