Where did you get a picture of my penis
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do vagina's smell?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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