Got a toothbrush?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why is there bacon in the couch?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
