12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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