is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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