Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
What a dumb baby whore.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
