i used baking grease as lip gloss
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
