He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
