you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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