You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
