Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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