i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
