you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
