Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
