i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
