The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
