having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
