Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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