Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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