ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
