its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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