Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
