Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
