so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
