It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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