Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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