And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize