You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize