I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
