The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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