He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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