Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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