Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
