Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
