trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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