Can i not drive my cunt home
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
