billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
