Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
