i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
