I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
