There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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