I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
