I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
it hurts more in the daytime
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
