Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
