Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize