Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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