How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize