I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize