i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
