When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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