i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Let's paint friendship bongs
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
