school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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