Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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