Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
