I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
