dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
