OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
